I remember that as a teen, I felt alone and broken.
Cruelty, taunts, and teasing seemed normal but unbearable.
I often wondered, “Why me?”
One night, I could not sleep as I replayed the cruel words thrown at me early in the day.
I traveled back in time and remembered other instances of cruel teasing.
In tears and emotionally broken, I cried out to God in the middle of the night.
I remember the night well. I attended middle school and just had a fight with one of my classmates in my front yard.
She knocked me down and started hitting me as I went into a fetal position trying to shield myself from the blows.
Middles school years knocked me down because of cruelty and hurtful taunting that occurred daily.
That night, however, I cried out to God for help.
I cried about my past, how lost I felt. How alone.
He answered by filling my soul with a desire to praise Him and sing to Him.
I remember the feelings that flooded my heart.
I remember Jesus uplifting me and the Holy Spirit enveloping me is so much love
That my tears turned from tears of anguish to tears of worship.
Jesus reminded me of the gift he had given on the cross.
His blood shed for me.
His body broken and battered.
He knew my grief of nonacceptance and loneliness.
He reminded me of his own feelings of outcast when the crowds tried to stone Him.
I could picture His final traverse to Calvary, and I saw clearly His nail scarred hand.
I reached out and took them.
My focus purely on Him.
Peace flooded my soul. Love flooded my heart.
I have never connected with God again on such an intimate level.
I felt Him blow into my room with love and peace.
I long for it to happen again and pray over and over again for Jesus to come closer
So I can walk with and tell Him, how important He was to me.
My heart longs for Jesus and His Spirit to overwhelm me.
He answers and is faithful, but never to the degree that He did so long ago.
Once you have a real touch from God, you never doubt.
You never wonder.
You remember forever, and the thought of it brings such tears and emotion.
My God is a God of eternal remembrance.