I am sitting in a hospital room this morning, waiting for my husband who is undergoing a procedure.
It hasn’t been an easy week. We learned Wednesday that he may have a blockage in the arteries of his left leg. He is in surgery under going a peripheral angiogram procedure to determine the location of the blockage. The doctor was expecting one based on an ultrasound performed last Thursday. First, the cardiologist set his followup appointment following a stress test and the ultrasound for June 16. They called us Tuesday, however, and bumped it up to Wednesday. Wednesday the physician assistant told us he had early signs of peripheral artery disease and that she strongly suspected he had a blockage based on the test results and because she was unable to find a pulse in his ankle after she had him do some toe lifts.
It is hard to think of my husband as facing this disease and all of its potential complications. He is such a rock in my life. When things like this happen you can’t help but think about legacy and the gift called life. Have we lived a good life in front of those little eyes looking up to us. Have we been the parents we needed to be? Have I been a good wife to him?
Based on this morning, I am doubtful. Stress and fear took over briefly. His nervousness and anxiousness settled on me like a thick cloud. I overacted and snapped, immediately regretting my outburst. He nerves and anxiety were peaked. I sat back and just prayed as he drove us to the hospital. I know, I should have offered to drive him, but I wanted to pray.
My prayer simple. “God, please take care of him. Please, help me be the wife I need to be. Forgive me for failing him. I love him so much. I need him so much. He is a gift from you. I am not ready to return him yet. He is my rock, my life. I know I sound selfish and self-centered here Lord, but I don’t know what I will do without him. I mean you promised you would never try me beyond what I could bear. Well, Lord, that would be too much. I can’t loose him. I love him so much.”
Now my leg is asleep, and the TV is blaring in the background in the small, cramped room. I just write and pray, waiting. …
The doctor just left minutes ago now. He told me they were able to fix the blockage. His major artery in his left leg had an 85 percent blockage. All I can think is thank God they caught the blockage and fixed it.
Now, he is with me again, reading a paper after taking about 30 minutes to fully wake up. We just had a hospital breakfast. I am going for takeout in a few hours for lunch. We will be here all day.
Life is funny. You are cruising along and then your husband starts complaining that he is tired and doesn’t feel well, coming home from work. His complaints and tiredness were not normal; so, I called him at work last Wednesday and insisted I take him to the doctors. I told him that out of the blue God told me to take him. I heard it as plain as day, “Take Ricky to the doctor today.” At the doctor’s office, he had an abnormal EKG and within a week, after the stress test and the ultrasound, they are placing a stint in a major artery that is 85 percent blocked.
His prognosis is good, but the doctor said he needs to stop smoking, exercise, and watch his diet. I am praying that he will be able to quit smoking.
Legacy and the gift of life continued are important concepts to pay attention to right now. I want his children to see him as an over-comer and fighter. He will quit smoking. That will be our major goal for the next few months as we encourage him to start a journey to better health. He already is working on his diet and lost 20 pounds with me during our church’s Biggest Loser.
God is with us. He helped us catch this illness before it became more serious and caused major damage. I am so thankful to Him for His provision.
This post is written for Five Minute Friday hosted by my friend Kate Motaung where bloggers gather in fellowship around one simple word and write a post furiously, without backtracking or over correcting, for five minutes. This week’s word is : Gift. Also writing for Spiritual Journey Thursdays at Holly Mueller’s Reading, Teaching, Learning site. The theme this week is Legacy.
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