I write often alone in my living room. As other have pointed out in their blog posts on the topics of write and invite, writing creates solitude in life. Writes adjourn into their closets. Often Christian writers add prayer and scripture study into their routines before they flood their screens with words.
Writing is especially hard when I broach difficult topics. Family problems and or community issues can make writing more poignant and real. How do we balance our writing when it is so raw and personal that sometime we write with tears streaming?
We often write to invite God into our problems and pray out in our words. Then, we share with others to show how our lives are like theirs. We have personal stories of overcoming pain, unforgiveness, and bitterness.
Writing sometimes is akin to bleeding our souls. We show how human we are and how fraught we are with our own shortcomings. The Glory though comes when point to Christ and His Holy Word.
What we write then becomes prayers for God’s intervention into the lives of our audience and our own personal struggles.
Lately, I struggle in an area of unforgiveness. It is ugly and real. It is hard. I wish I could say I am at a point that I conquer this. I am like Paul praying in Corinthians for God to remove the thorn in his side. All I can lay claim to in faith, however, is that through Christ I am more than a conqueror and I stand on God’s Holy Word in 2 Corinthians 12:9.
And he said unto me, My grace is sufficient for thee: for my strength is made perfect in weakness.
Most gladly therefore will I rather glory in my infirmities, that the power of Christ may rest upon me.
How real is this writing. How real is the invitation to God for Paul baring his soul for the church to see.
My soul empty and bare after writing. Frightened of rejection, writers create in the midst of ongoing sin. We writers are not perfect, nor do we claim to be. Paul said he was the worst of all sinners. He fought with brethren and recorded these fallouts in the Holy Word of God.
I feel like Paul at times, crying from my own self-made prison of regret and bitterness.
I know light is around the corner. I can see Christ beckoning me. “Forgive as I have forgiven.” Even when the offending party does not offer an apology or change course?
When I write this raw, other women identify. We are kin to one another. We fight the same battles.
We can write though knowing even when we sin and fall short of His Glory. It is not our glory. It is His Glory.
Testifying of How He brings Victory into my Life on a daily and weekly basis.
Praying for forgiveness and the ability to forgive publically.
I am human. I fail and sin. I ask forgiveness and am forgiven. Bitterness and unforgiveness, however, can separate me from the blessings of God. Not from our Salvation, but fellowship and blessings.
I know this area envelops me and tears into my life at this point. I invite God in and ask Him to work on this thorn in my side. I want to forgive and let go. I am like Paul write now in Romans 7: 19:
For I do not do the good I want to do, but the evil I do not want to do–this I keep on doing.
This writing life for God reveals scars and deepest troubles. We pierce through the darkness to shine light. As Nancy Ortberg writes in her book, Seeing in the Dark,
Do you write in the midst of your problems? Do you invite God in with your writing of prayers. Writing raw and hard?
I invite you to share in the comments what you feel you can.
I pledge to pray with you. I ask for your prayers too.